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I will tell you that you will struggle more times than not, and that is when you will come to know faith.

I won’t tell you that people will be kind when you are in a dark place.

I will tell you that some people might take advantage of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and that is when you will find your strength.

I won’t tell you that everyone will understand your life story and be compassionate.

I will tell you that you will come across people who simply don’t care about anyone but themselves, and that is when you will learn patience.

I won’t tell you that you will always feel loved.

I will tell you and encourage you to love yourself anyway.

I certainly won’t tell you that you will always feel safe.

I wish I could tell you that you will, but learning to feel safe in the world and inside of your own being can be a lifelong process and you will learn to trust.

I won’t tell you that you will never feel alone.

I will tell you that those times people come into your life, make sure you appreciate and value the time you have with them.
I won’t tell you that you will always feel like you belong.

I will tell you that you might spend an entire lifetime trying to figure that out but when you do, you will feel freedom.
I won’t tell you that you will never feel like you are at the edge of that precipice, teetering on the brink of exhaustion.

I will tell you simply that it happens. Life happens. Breathe and remember it is okay to be exhausted.

It is okay to let God carry you.

It is okay to cry, to be afraid and to not know the meaning of life in those moments.

There are no rules in this journey to avoid the pain that comes with living.

But there are moments of grace intertwined within every struggle to remind you

That your life is indeed worth living, that you belong to a love greater that your pain and a purpose greater than your fears.

“Come a little closer,” the darkness said, ” I want to see your light.”

“What is there to see?” I quivered.

The darkness looked bemused and took a step back as not to frighten me so.

“Your perceptions of me are unfounded, rooted amidst desperation in trying to understand who you are.

You are as much afraid of me as you are of your light. Those heavy emotions that permeate your soul when left to despair, powerlessness and hatred make me something out to be that I am not. I don’t fuel those emotions within you. You do. You give those emotions power over you and then project blame onto me. And all I want to do is simply help you understand the balance between your light and myself. And in order to do that, I need to get closer to you. Sometimes that may not be so comfortable, for both of us. As afraid of me as you are, I find myself a little frightened of your light too.”

Seeing how vulnerable darkness was becoming,

I walked closer to it, more curious of its nature.

“How could you be afraid of my light? Look at all the harm you have perpetuated throughout humanity?”

“I didn’t cause humanity to suffer. Humans and their interpretations of me, their free will – that is what caused their suffering.

I have been and always will be a silent partner in the midst of creation, only ignited by what humans fear most, and acted upon by misguided thoughts.

From the moment your soul felt abandoned by the Divine, you conjured up a manifestation of me to fill that void. My voice wasn’t mine anymore. It became some construct of the collective used to further separate you from yourself, humanity from its collective soul. I search the universe, haunted by humanity’s need to make me something I am not.

I yearn to be that silent partner again in the midst of creation. To stand by your side, holding hands with your light, understanding it as much as I want to understand myself.”

I paused for a moment and then extended my hand.

Darkness, even more humbled by my offering, reached for it and came closer to me.

“I’d like to get to know you better.” I said.

“I’d like that too,” the darkness smiled.

As we held hands, our fears slowly began melting away, and the nature of the universe felt like home again.

The footsteps to freedom

You have known all your life.

You must pray in every world

You feel you are unloved

And take shelter

In hope eternal.

You are the alchemist

Of your existence

The life giver

To acceptance.

The Holy Grail

Is within your reach

The moment you forgiveLife for hurting you so.

There is a softening

It stretches for miles

Into the heavens

Amidst cotton clouds

Silver lined with

Angelic threads

Moistening humanity

And hearts everywhere.

Another moment

In time

Reveals

Your breath is

Not your own.

Oh how the Divine

Lives to breathe for you.

A deep hunger with no boundaries

Whose edges fear silence

Scars forged by fire

Burnt embers of a lineage

Grasping for air

While dancing with chaos

The tempest walks secretly within me

Passed down from my mother and her mother before her

The shadows gather

A beast arises

A wilderness is born

And the battle for self begins

A self birthed like no other

Molded and shaped 

By an ancestral history

Yearning for recognition

Where is the stillness to be found?

It’s there my friend, it’s there.

It gave those wounds the courage to come forth

The hunger its strength to feed

The tempest its power to roar

The beast its voice to fight

And the wilderness a place to call home

The battle only lasts as long as you need it to

Find your Self fiercely

No one will do it for you.

Restless and shaking in its grasp, my voice trembled as I screamed,

“What do you want from me? Let me go! Let me go!”

No answer from the void.

I writhed and squirmed trying to pull myself away but its tendrils had me bound to uncertainty, fear and doubt.

My cries went unheard by the gods, the trees, the mountains, and the rivers.

No one could be seen for miles.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and the silence became deafening.

That hand held me so tightly that moments seemed like lifetimes.

Until finally, a gentle voice called out to me.

“Why are you hiding my child?

It’s me, God. I’ve been holding your hand all this time.

So have the trees, the mountains and the rivers.

Even the sun, the moon and the stars.

You kept thinking you were alone in the darkness.

But we were all right here with you every step of the way.

Your screams and cries were heard and your tears wiped gently from your cheeks.

We called out to you a number of times, but you did not hear us.

We stood in front of you but you did not see us.

We held you but you did not feel us.”

I slowly shifted my gaze upwards and couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

I hadn’t moved from that very spot where I saw nothing but darkness.

Yet all I saw and felt now was love, surrounding me in many forms.

And then I knew, from that moment on, that there was a place for both amidst the gods.

And where there was one, the other would exist simultaneously.

And I learned it was my choice to exist with each of them peacefully.

Where tears are comforted amidst understanding.

Where Presence is felt when you don’t know where you belong.

Where fear is held in sanctity of what lessons it can offer you.

Walk with me into nowhere, where my soul reaches into yours and no boundary exists except the ones in which our minds create.

Where my soul touches upon yours the lightness of our own beings, so much so that any separation would be unbearable.

Walk with me into nowhere, where you and I exist as one, not tearing each other apart to survive a reality which is only experienced by our projections.

Where you and I exist as one, emotions running fluidly through sparks of matter which ground our souls into dense earthly bodies.

Held by a container we call love, leaving little room for thoughts which continue to separate.

Walk with me into nowhere.

I will find you.

You will find me.

How could we not?

After all, we are one and nowhere is the tabernacle of the gods.

I’ve been pondering some of my sessions as of late. Especially in these challenging times, many clients will ask me a multitude of questions. I sometimes get an email list. I have to remind them that if I were providing them a psychic reading, I would answer all the questions they want. Even though I provide much insight (clients literally have notebooks of our sessions over the years), there are many times when a question is asked I pause and tell them now is not the time for that question to be answered or for them to know the answer. I mean, who am I to reply like that? 

The desire to know can draw in a darkness like no other. Our fear of the unknown and our attachment to having answers that help us be in control of our own lives and destinies can lead us down a path of misery. That desire can cross spiritual and psychic boundaries and there are energies and spirits beyond the veil that will attach to our desires and the fears that propel them. 

So no my friends, there are times I will hear an answer and will not provide it. And many of you who work with me know that. I can feel what encircles you and without judgement, I always pray I am making the right decision in that moment to leave you in the unknown, to leave space around your fears and your attachments, to respect the spiritual boundaries at work so that an answer that I am hearing has its own space to shift, to evolve for your highest good. It takes incredible discipline on my part especially when you are in the midst of suffering. My work is to hopefully help you suffer less.

Spinning tales of creation
I weaved my destiny
until my inner worlds
embodied such a grace
I could no longer contain
my heartbeat and became one with
every soul in existence.

Every breath has a name

The ground beneath you 

Calls out for holiness

It thirsts for water

Your tears are sustenance

Awakening to what?

The endless pursuit of “The Path”

Plays with your mind and heart

Is there a destination

Or is the Divine resorting to trickery?

Slow down

And savor the duality

There is a tenderness that can be birthed from doubt

A sweetness that can be plucked

From the mire

A silence redeemed amidst confusion.

Keep walking barefoot in the chaos

You will stop pursuing the path

You will simply become it without even trying.