Of unveiling our vulnerabilities down to the distinct rawness of

character we imagine helps us feel safe

as we create our life narrative.

The labels we put on those narratives

as though self love is dictated by every measure of worth we attribute to those stories.

Oh the effort we expend to be real, to be seen, to be heard, to be valued.

When all we have to do, as daunting as it may seem, is to accept ourselves with such an intensity until we believe that we matter, that everything about us matters.

Freedom can be so exhilarating.

Some of your ancestors have taught you how to hate.

What stories are you carrying in your weary bones

That ignite confusion across generations

Especially in the pivotal moment

Where you need to choose what kind of ancestor

You want to be to future generations to come.

So that when worlds collide

You will know where to find

Your solitude

Amidst the chaos.

It will liken itself

To an innocence not lost,

Only hidden from sight

Until it was ready to

Be completely understood.

Life is so very real, fragile, exhilarating, painful, luminescent.

Your bones bathe in your ancestor’s wounds

While your soul carresses a future lineage awaiting

Each breath of your awakening.

You could taste the earth, its rooted energies,

As it draws life into your blood

And moistens your marrow.

A life so vast the rocks and trees know you by

Your name.

The stars await your confession

The hardships you can no longer bear

The resentment without a place to call home

Within a mind and heart that was created to love.

No, being human is not for the faint of heart.

But I know you.

Perhaps in the way God knows you.

Perhaps in the way you know yourself

But are afraid to see the truth.

You are braver that you think..

After all, you are right here, right now.

So live and be human.

Your ancestors might need to speak through your cells

Your blood and bones might need to relive a pattern until it comes to rest.

There are a myriad number of reasons why our illnesses and maladies are gateways to another world.

Be kind to your bodies, in weakness, and in strength.

And dust to dust

We lay down our lives with each dawn

That passes when we 

Turn our hearts against each other.

There is no realm

Where we will not wait

For a patient judgement

That softens the hardness

From generations past

Who crave leniency for a prayer

Not yet spoken

Because pain for some is 

Easier to bear than love.

We will not be resurrected alone.

Lineages will gather

Upon a sullen earth

To tend to the needs of many.

If your desire for pain is greater than your need for love,

Will you be able to stand by your brothers and sisters?

The time has come to live an honorable life

Where your heart becomes one heart, living and breathing

For the many.

I heard the voices of my ancestors

Rising up and wondering if their lives 

Still had any worth beyond the veil.

I listened to their cries as shame

Ripped through fragments of their souls.

Fatigued from their self pity,

I tore apart the realms in search of every grace

Afforded to them from lifetimes of learning

And lay every speck of light at their feet.

I screamed at them to open their eyes and their hearts.

I shook their spirits until they could feel

How my own unworthiness was healed 

From all the strength and love they gave to me.

In wanting to become

Someone other than who she was

That she forgot pieces of herself

That were trying to move on

Were actually gifts from God

Ready to be set free

So that in becoming

The holding on and letting go

Were a love affair destined by the universe

To mold her into whom she was ready to be.

the silence will no longer be silent.

It will arise with uncertainty and ask the questions you have been afraid to answer.

The questions that erupt into a cycle of isolation, spiraling heart and mind into oblivion,

creating chaos that longs to be justified.

The silence needs nothing from you.

It is you who need its tenderness amidst the chaos, its comfort amidst the grief, its grace amidst the confusion.

The silence never left you.

You escaped from it much of your life,

wandering through deserts in search of yourself.

Only to return to the same place you started from.

My how long a journey you made,

in struggling more than you needed to.

A spiral universe above and below

Where humans were once enchanted between the realms

Dancing amidst fairies and gnomes

Dieities and giants

Penetrating spirit

Taking from the Holy Grail its source of nourishment

To continue frolicking with innocence

Neither fire nor ice

Serpents or angels

Could reveal a destiny so great

That humans would remember

The portal from which they came.

The longing for ancient ritual

Is steeped in our blood

We become the guardians of one another

In other worlds

But in middle earth

We are tainted by a darkness

That we ignited ourselves.

Oh to be set free once again

Touched an innocence immersed

In those same healing waters

The gods swam in.

Your destiny.

Your choice.