This is something I speak about often with clients. It seemed to be a recurring theme this week with sessions which is why I wanted to share a few thoughts here. Let’s look at the shaming around illness, especially around illness that is not so obvious to others, even those closest to you. There are so many new “illnesses” that are being diagnosed everyday, and younger people are coming down with conditions at a higher percentage from twenty years ago, ten years ago, even five years ago. It is not uncommon for me to hear from a client that people remark they look okay, so there isn’t an understanding or comprehension of a physical malady upon sight. A friend yesterday showed me a photo of a young woman she knows who is very ill and I said, “You wouldn’t know it because she looks amazing.” Yet many of these illnesses work insidiously, depleting a body of its most necessary resources and causing a myriad of symtoms for the sufferer. We are in a society where people are uncomfortable with their bodies first and foremost, and more so when it comes to becoming ill. We are a culture that does not know how to respect or approach illness within ourselves or someone we know. Please take a moment to take that last statement in. People are uncomfortable around illness and have many times, create shame based thoughts and relationships around that uncomfortability as opposed to learning new ways of approaching and respecting what are bodies or minds are struggling with. The shame based relationship we create with illness keeps us disassociated from ourselves and each other, furthering isolation and stress. Indigenous cultures understood the importance of relating to illness authentically, so that there was a sense of honor in alignment with one’s suffering no matter the extent of the illness.

There is such isolation that comes with the loss of emotional freedom, especially when it comes to people being able to express how they feel when they are ill.  A separation from society and from what is considered the norm is prevalent. Well, we are being shown that illness is again, occuring at any age these days and that there are so many “mystery” illnesses on the horizon. We are being faced with having to shift a paradigm of shame and uncomfortability around sickness and how we treat, define and separate ourselves from people who are facing these challenges.

I am willing to be with any uncomfortable thoughts that might get triggered around other people’s ailments. After all I have had my own struggles and have been working with people with physical and mental health issues for almost thirty years now. Once in a while, yes, I  still get triggered when I see someone suffering to the point that my own mind thinks is unfair. But I sit with it so that the space I hold for them becomes more authentic as I listen. 

If we can contribute to rising above the collective shame around being sick, I think that allows us to take a step closer to becoming a more compassionate world.