I like to think of intimacy as a path, a way of life, not something to be achieved or gained through shame or a need to feel whole. Our separation from the Divine and humanity since the time of Adam and Eve has been something we have deceived ourselves into believing. Who are we if we are not the same soul united in one grace and one love? Our continual belief that we are separate only breeds more of of the same in every facet of our lives. Intimacy becomes a goal as opposed to a living breathing experience and expression of the Divine. I like that. A living and breathing expression of the Divine!

When we force connections within relationships, we ignite power struggles both within ourselves and those relationships we are pursuing. In this way, our needs will never get met. We are coming from the internalized belief that we are separate and that our needs NEED to be met. Our unworthiness engages with another’s unworthiness. Our confusion around identity struggles with theirs. In many ways, we are wanting not to feel so alone in that unworthiness. A power struggle begins with wounds versus wounds. Only we think they are needs. Intimacy is not about placing demands within any relationship, including the one you have with yourself which is the most important relationship of all.

As we begin to understand the path of intimacy, the word “need” takes on a new definition and no longer is the driving force behind our desire to create healthy and sustainable relationships. The path is not an easy one, but one well worth living.

Waiting for a prophecy to be fulfilled

Of a narrative borne generations ago

Where intimacy was a luscious fruit

Afforded your soul

Human bonded to human

So intricately that it blooms the

fragrance of God.

Tethered to the Divine

We search both heaven and hell

To reap the rewards of a union

Gone astray

A prophecy where we become one heart

Where the heavens become silent 

In the presence of such grace.

The storms won’t stop coming until we stop searching the

Realms of existence for what we think lies outside of us,

The narrative is within us.

A fragrance so otherworldly

An intimacy so Divine.

A prophecy where we are all one finally fulfilled.

I won’t tell you that fear is an illusion.

I won’t tell you that you will always feel safe.

I won’t tell you to let go of your grief.

I won’t tell you that the universe will always provide.

I won’t tell you that what you put out there is what you will attract.

I won’t tell you that if you surround yourself with white light that no harm will come to you.

With all the sages and saints whose wisdom has found its way to my heart.

What I can tell you is this.

We are part of a larger mystery

Where all emotions are raw and powerful gateways into deeper parts of ourselves

Where suffering is real and part of our spiritual development

And yes, we will lack truths and what we need to survive here at times,

That no matter what you extend into the universe, you will attract both light and darkness

Because that is life.

But we have been given choice,

An opportunity to grow or contract with what comes our way.

An opportunity within each moment to redefine

Our journey internally with our reactions and responses.

A freedom so powerful that many of us dare to utilize it.

The freedom to choose.

There is an uncertainty inside of us

That weaves the unknown

In every cell of our being

Yearning for recognition

To be held

To be heard

To be witnessed

For every darkness

And every light

That has created breath

And built our living universe.

Don’t tear it down.

It is nectar

That has birthed the person you are now

And the person you will become.

Let that uncertainty nourish

What you have always believed.

You can be safe in the unknown.

That heaviness in your heart

Has a softness

Where mercy dwells in silence

Where the Divine dances your song

As tears flow sometimes unknowingly

Remembering yourself 

Is a task for the brave

And for those willing to believe

They are never truly left alone.

As the year comes to an end, I usually try and gather some thoughts for what lies ahead.

The past few months I kept repeating the words “no self”. I pondered the significance for me and for the period of time

We are entering into. The ancestors have been moving beyond worlds. opening new portals which have yet to see light, battling forces

So that humanity can birth a sense of dignity and pride in creation it has never witnessed. The armor which has bound generations together in both darkness and light,

In every miasm that has traversed familial and cultural dynamics, is being pulled apart dramatically between heaven and earth.

The choices we are making are influencing the past and have already imprinted future generations to come.

The spirit world is offering us the opportunity for truth, and that is

Creating internal and external chaos for many.

Over the past two years we have been asked to shed many skins, cry many tears.

Our hearts have been broken over and over again as we stare into the mirror and do not recognize

The weary visage staring back at us.

Who have we become?

We think we know our true stories until another story comes out of nowhere and destabilizes our very core.

The time of “no self” will show us threads of a story we could have never envisioned.

A visage we have never seen when looking in the mirror.

Skins we have never worn thus bodies we have yet to become acquainted with.

There will be times when you feel like you are living someone else’s story.

But it will be yours.

And it will be your mother’s.

It will be your father’s.

It will be your children’s.

It will be your neighbor’s.

It will be the world’s story rising up within you and asking you to accept the unknown.

Who have we become?

That question will enter our hearts a myriad of times and a will greater than our own

Will become our saving grace and constant companion in the path before us.

Wishing you peace and gentleness in the unknown ahead.

These are indeed, transformational times.

We will spend our lifetimes seeking God and a level of intimacy that we have denied ourselves for generations.

As we come to the end of this year and into the next, the desecration of humanity will continue as the polarization of light and darkness tears through the very foundations we and our ancestors have created in our search for purpose. Purpose has been so individualized in especially this last century that sacrifice has become a way of survival of the fittest. Sacrifice of physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual concepts and ways of existing. Relational trauma has become a way of life that has rooted itself into class, socio-economic culture, religion, sexuality, and society as a whole. We actually don’t know how to separate ourselves from it to the extent that it defines our purpose. 

Everything is changing. It has been over the last few years. I listen closely to people’s thoughts and feelings. They can’t recognize themselves anymore. They also can’t recognize those closest to them. There has been such a numbing within relationship foundations that being present has become a burden for many. Think about that for a moment. How can being present become a burden? When the idea of the wound is greater than the actual wound itself, when the trauma takes on a lifeforce predicated upon a distortion of power, when the individual self is denied or when a society becomes so invisible that it doesn’t matter anymore to the outside world. Yes, being present can become burdensome. It also becomes a sacrifice in which many are tired of repeating.

During this time of deep purification, we are being blessed with an opportunity, especially with this new year upon us. While chaos continues to unravel, our desire for purpose through intimacy will surge beyond our pattern of self centeredness. The ways in which we live and thrive in this world will have the chance to shift into a pattern of reciprocity and compassion. Sacrifice will embody an entirely new definition and relational trauma will be given the chance to finally breathe its way into healing space. We will begin to recognize ourselves in ways we never did before. We will begin to recognize each other too with different eyes. The level of intimacy we have craved for generations will be upon us. It will feed any purpose we are here for without even trying. It will shift sacrifice to a more gentle undertaking where we don’t feel like we are being forced upon our knees wiping every tear from our face.

Are you ready?

In Greek mythology a psychopomp is a supernatural creature or spirit whose purpose is to guide a soul who has just died to the afterlife. We die many times in one lifetime, aspects of ego and will, body and mind, ancient ancestors communing at the threshold of our passage so that they too, can evolve as sentient beings. We embody a myriad of lineages in our flesh and bones, not just the lineages inherent in our soul’s trajectory, but lineages across parallel realities that seek to serve a higher purpose. There is a sense of surrealism with each death, an altering of reality as we embrace a new one, an altering of a lineage as the sacred womb rises to give birth, life, healing and safe passage to those parts of us which need to die, which need to merge with a laden earth encumbered by human disconnect. Or perhaps those parts of us which need to ascend with the angels, a death absorbing grace as the Divine intended to the fullest experience a soul can have.

There is a descent into the underworld where we embrace flesh and bone as much as we do spirit.

There is a descent into darkness where we fall upon our knees and give thanks to the landscape that nourishes our understanding of good and evil.

How fortunate we are to listen to the wilderness that runs through our veins, echoing our names over and over again until the illusion slowly dissipates into oblivion.

To realize that we die so many times during our lifetime. The psychopomp materializing out of an emptiness, appearing in a form of a being we recognize as aspects of oneself.

A hidden landscape versed in the chorus of angels as well as the entreatments of demons. The ruler of this underworld are those wounds we hold close, yearning to ascend, reaching for any hand to help guide our way out of pain.

We become the master of life and death within our own experience. A nuanced pulsation of light and darkness, love and hate, a hunger for light to be fulfilled by pushing through the mire of a reality created by thousands of years of disconnect from grace. We become the psychopomp that we have prayed for to carry us through this confusion of self and to leave the underworld as we originally left it. With love.

Yes, with love.

I can’t tell you you will always feel safe.

I can’t tell you you will never feel alone.

I can’t tell you life will be easy.

I can’t tell you you will never suffer.

I can’t tell you you will always feel like you belong.

I can’t tell you you will never feel like you are at the edge of that precipice, teetering on the brink of exhaustion.

What I CAN tell you is this.

You are loved and held in a grace so palpable beyond any realm you could ever perceive that any thoughts of separation you feel during this earthly existence will be but a distant memory once you remember you are of the light.

Tip-toeing through gratitude

Where dreams of innocence

And peace feel like nectar underneath my feet

I could feel the wind blow

Through every chamber of my heart

Thanking the Divine

For being able to whisper

Love songs of hope

To weary ears

That will listen to its music.

To be grateful

Is such a privilege

So few dare to behold

As it requires complete surrender of

Body and soul

To a silence

So sacred

That once you embrace it

You may never be the same again.

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