I like to think of intimacy as a path, a way of life, not something to be achieved or gained through shame or a need to feel whole. Our separation from the Divine and humanity since the time of Adam and Eve has been something we have deceived ourselves into believing. Who are we if we are not the same soul united in one grace and one love? Our continual belief that we are separate only breeds more of of the same in every facet of our lives. Intimacy becomes a goal as opposed to a living breathing experience and expression of the Divine. I like that. A living and breathing expression of the Divine!

When we force connections within relationships, we ignite power struggles both within ourselves and those relationships we are pursuing. In this way, our needs will never get met. We are coming from the internalized belief that we are separate and that our needs NEED to be met. Our unworthiness engages with another’s unworthiness. Our confusion around identity struggles with theirs. In many ways, we are wanting not to feel so alone in that unworthiness. A power struggle begins with wounds versus wounds. Only we think they are needs. Intimacy is not about placing demands within any relationship, including the one you have with yourself which is the most important relationship of all.

As we begin to understand the path of intimacy, the word “need” takes on a new definition and no longer is the driving force behind our desire to create healthy and sustainable relationships. The path is not an easy one, but one well worth living.