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It feels like such a long time since I have seen Cindy and the baby. I almost want to call him by name as we talked about names when she came for her session today. She walked in and handed me her phone to listen to the recording of the baby’s heartbeat. All sounded perfect. All was perfect. I could feel it through the heartbeat.

Cindy sat on the floor next to me and the first thing I wanted to discuss was the negative spirits I had seen around her when she accompanied her mother to a session with me. I did not get to work with Cindy directly, but the moment she walked in with her mother  I got a splitting headache. I had seen the kind of spirits around her and knew she had an argument with her mother. I touched on that today and asked her if she and her mother exchanged words right before her mother’s recent visit with me. They had. The reason I was bringing this up today is because ancestral spirits are passed down from one generation to the next. Some of the ones between Cindy and her mother are heightened when they get into power struggles. Then Cindy usually ends up not feeling well. When she came in today, those same spirits were still around her and she let me know she had just finished speaking with her mother and got upset with her over something they were discussing. The baby was fine but I let Cindy know that she needed to work on true forgiveness when it came to their relationship so that the anger and those spirits were not passed onto the child. We spent a lot of time talking about that today, while I was tracking the little guy to see how he was doing.

I tuned into him…(tracking)…”The doctor must be very happy. He is growing perfectly. Good weight, lots of space, he should be moving by now..you should be feeling him. He is fine for a vaginal birth. I still don’t see a C-section is needed at this point in time. I have to ask..who ate junk food recently?” Cindy looked at me and surprisingly said no one. The lil guy pretty much shouted to me that one of them had french fries and that he really liked them so I turned to Cindy and asked. Her mouth hung open as she gasped that her and her husband had went to a diner a few days ago and she had fries and hadn’t had them in a long while! (Tracking)…”He liked them. He is definitely a food lover. He also likes and wants shrimp for some reason. And chocolate chip cookies. Not sure why he is wanting all these foods right now. Really wants those cookies.  He also is telling me that someone was looking at boats and water again and that made him happy. He is a very happy baby.”

Cindy laughed. She said her mom had just asked her if she could eat shellfish for Christmas and the baby must have heard it because he really likes his new grandma. Her husband also mentioned something recently about wanting chocolate chip cookies…so the baby really seems to take after Daddy when it comes to his tummy! Mommy is hoping that he will like more of her healthier fruits and vegetables. I told her at this point no! He seems to be taking after Daddy in many regards. That could change after coming out of the womb but we will see! Cindy also mentioned that the night before she was watching old war movies with boats and water! How funny!

Cindy continues to follow my protocol. Her cold and allergies have gotten somewhat better from the various forms of Vitamin C  I put her on as well as topical castor oil packs. Her hiatal hernia is better too. Since Mommy is better, baby is better. We also talked about the positioning best for her to give birth and with her wide hips and pelvic structure, squatting while standing is preferable. It is what most women did in the fields and throughout time. More natural for the body.

Lastly, Cindy had a list of names for the baby and she wanted me to ask the lil’ guy which he preferred. No one has ever asked me to do that before. She went down the list and some of them he didn’t even want to hear. There were two he really liked, and one was just ok…I am hoping Mommy and Daddy pick one of the ones he really liked!!!!!

Feels like forever since I have seen Cindy and the lil’ guy! Good to see them walking through the door. Cindy came in and was a little out of her body; something I am not used to seeing with her. There was an elderly female spirit to her right and I did not recognize her. The light surrounding her was extraordinary, and so I waited to see what would unfold. Cindy was very anxious and this was something I was actually accustomed to. Cindy had been following the protocol I put her on as she felt her allergies getting worse and what seemed to be the start of bronchitis. The few remedies she was on seemed to help her greatly and when she is ok, baby is ok. Upon sitting down, I remarked that the baby is doing very well. His hydration was remarkable actually and  that he was starting to develop and make a relationship with his five senses.

Tracking..” The baby is starting to move even though you can’t feel it yet. You are better than when I last saw you so he is better. Tuning into you..you have been a little loopy lately from what I am seeing around you. Also, the itching has subsided a bit since your hydration level is increased and your body is getting used to the flux of hormones.” Cindy concurred with what I was sharing. “Baby is telling me that mommy is talking a lot, a real lot. He is craving beta-carotene..interesting…he wants berries.” Cindy looked at me surprised because she was craving carrots so badly that she just had eaten a bunch and was also craving blueberries and was trying to figure out something with berries she could make. “I could see your new home behind you and it looks finished so I am gathering my suggestion about taking things slowly so you do not get stressed is out the window!” We both laughed. Then Cindy shared that she and her husband were meeting with the contractors soon to start the work on the house. I checked in with the lil’ guy and he was alright as long as mommy was alright.

“The lil’ guy wants you to know he likes water and boats..he just keeps showing me water and boats…he also loves colors- vivid colors. He is starting to make a connection with the foods he likes, colors in his brain, smells, feelings, touch. Even if some of this is on a psychic level, he is learning. He is a smart baby. And the food, what an Italian. Pasta, meatsauce, just like your husband! Also, on a different note, your relationship with your mother will heal because your mother and the baby will have a strong connection. He already likes her. And this woman spirit near you..she is helping to heal your relationship. Your mother will be guided. I also have to tell you..this baby will love Christmas..love the tree, the lights, the train that you will put underneath..a big Christmas celebration..he wants you to know now..”

Cindy laughed. First at the Christmas stuff. Her husband is the big holiday person in their home and he cannot wait to decorate the new house and wants to do it the day after Thanksgiving. He has loved Christmas since he was a little boy and his son will take after him. Cindy was happy to hear that the lil’ guy  likes water and boats. She had been planning on doing an ocean theme for his room and she is the lover of water in the family. She was wondering if the baby would share any personality traits with her! As for the colors, she said her husband was the artist in the family which I never knew. She also confirmed surprisingly that her relationship with her mother had already started to shift. She wasn’t sure how to process that. She has tried for years to no avail but she thinks the baby in some way is teaching her mom to respect her more. Cindy is shifting too. That is one of the reasons she is so out of her body. Those negative spirits that I saw in the beginning are nowhere to be found at this point, and the lil’ guy is coming along splendidly. I am not worried at this point about his development nor are his doctors from what I was told! That is great news!

Cindy has been talking to her baby on a daily basis. She has really worked hard on making a relationship with him and that is one of the reasons he is thriving. Her husband is also connecting with him. After talking with the lil’ guy myself, I gently pulled out of his energy field and let him know I will look forward to seeing him again.

 

To see beyond the scope of the self and raise one’s awareness of the Godhead within is a feat that all humans undertake. The endurance needed to pursue what we perceive as the worthiness of being a child of God is mandatory. It becomes so not because we are indeed unworthy as children of light, but because we confuse our human worthiness with our sense of spiritual unworthiness, and that tends to bring about much pain and despair.
All of us work through our psycho-spiritual growth from the time we are in the womb. We energetically prepare and immerse ourselves in the concept that we are born into eternal life as connected to the mother. We become engrossed with the possibilities that this divine connection has no boundaries. We become nourished by the perception that we will grow in the unconditional love and presence that we feel as we are protected in this space. On a psycho-spiritual level within the womb, there is an inherent understanding of the light and the darkness but no emotional or experience-perceived understanding. As the boundaries begin to become clearer as we mature inside the womb, we begin to create perceptions based on those boundaries that, in our eyes, separate our human natures from our spiritual natures. What we perceive as the loss of innocence, the loss of ‘pure light’ into the polarity of both extremes, begins to become interpreted at some level as human and spiritual unworthiness. And thus begins our quest to find our way back home to God and to unconditional love and surrender. At the human level, we incorporate this unworthiness into aspects of ourselves as we enter this world. The separation from the womb enables us to live a life where we learn the graces of God as we live from day to day through our experiences of giving, receiving, loving and forgiving. Through trial and error, pain and suffering, joy and happiness, we are given the strength to persevere in the way that we are called to. Not everyone follows that calling though. We learn to embrace all aspects of the psyche with the understanding, conscious or not, that we are human beings whose soul intention is to love and be loved. In our never ending search for this ‘feeling’, we tend to miss the boat and continue the search externally. The unworthiness that many of us feel without knowing it becomes embedded in the psyche only as a deterrent. This deterrent is actually the bridge to the netherworld, our greatest teacher, and the greatest influence we can possibly hope for in achieving the worthiness both human and spiritual that is inherent within each one of us. If we can give permission and acknowledge that unworthiness to be present without shame and with forgiveness, then we can begin to heal the wounds that surround us being worthy as human beings.
We cannot just do the work of being worthy as spiritual beings without embracing the human level. As we begin to embrace the possibilities of being true human beings, we will cease to confuse and separate our notion that being human and divine are different and that we can only be worthy in one realm.
In order to even begin to bring ourselves to the awareness of spiritual worthiness, we have to give ourselves permission to stand before God and be humbled. Perhaps as both human and spiritual children. This humility is not an act of doing, but an act of being. The worthiness that comes through the heavens into our beings is a heavenly gift and a kindness of mercy that we are given as children of God. It is given not because of who or what we perceive we are, nor even for the ways in which we live our lives. In truth, whether we live our lives in the darkness or in the light, we are each given the same degree of worthiness by God. It is what we choose to do with that grace that shapes our inner and outer relationships with the Divine. On the human level, because we have attached a sense of worthiness and unworthiness to who we are and how we live in the world, we are forgetting a very important thing. God is merciful in His or Her kindness.
If our divine and human natures weren’t created to learn forgiveness, then we wouldn’t be made manifest in the image and likeness of the Creator.
Thus, in your lives, remember one thing: spiritual and human worthiness is not bound by God, but bound by your confusion as you make interpretations of who you think you are and who God is for you. What a heavy burden to carry. We cannot aspire to be worthy as spiritual beings without aspirations of being worthy as human beings. The two cannot be separated, nor in truth, can the feelings of despair that come up when we confuse the two, nor the feelings of joy and hope that arise when we embrace them.

Cindy’s baby is a boy! Mommie and Daddy found out last night and emailed the good news this morning. She also shared that her latest doctor’s appointment went very well. Lil’ guy is strong and growing with a healthy heartbeat. Amen!

We are not bound and tethered by people’s perceptions of us. We are only bound when we internalize those perceptions and make them realities. Living out of those realities can make us suffer more than we need to. Do we have the courage to see differently? And if those perceptions are indeed true, do we have the capacity to understand that we can shift those realities with one conscious choice? I like to think so.

Cindy is now at 14 weeks today. She walked into my home with an aura of baby energy; exuding a flowing water element. She had another ultrasound picture with her, of the growing lil’ guy inside. Her visit with the neonatal specialist went perfectly. The baby is growing as he should be. I mirrored what the specialist had said upon looking at the picture. The amniotic sac looked good and his developing cranial bones looked proportionately correct from the picture. Just beautiful. I wanted to check in with Cindy first to see how she was feeling before talking with the lil’ guy.

The last few appointments, her breathing had become more labored and her allergies were really flaring up. I saw that they had not gotten better and also saw some hot flashes that she started having. I asked her if she had trouble sleeping lately and had any nausea. She said yes. I had mentioned to her a while back that early on her back and feet would hurt because that is where she will carry the most water  she is beginning to notice that already. The spirits were also sharing with me that she was losing her patience with people around her and becoming ill-tempered. As I was sharing that piece, I waved my hand behind me to push away the witch like spirits that attach to Cindy when she shifts her personality. A learned familial trait when the feeling of overwhelm crosses a spiritual boundary. I quietly let those spirits know that there was still no place for them as Cindy and the lil’  guy were really holding their own; they didn’t need their negative support. Important to add in…Cindy had been wanting me to see her mother for years to help her through her issues. Her mother had finally agreed to see me last week and my work with her is upsetting the routine of the negative spirits that have interfered with the family for years. This is a good thing. With a new child coming into the world, spirits like that become frightened that they will lose power. The timing for Cindy’s mom having a session with me is not a coincidence. This will help to make the baby stronger as well.

Time to talk to the lil’ guy..I looked at Cindy. “Does your husband want to eat baby back ribs? He is wanting some baby back ribs..that is what he is telling me and that is kind of funny.” Cindy gasped. She said it wasn’t her husband but she that wanted them. She went food shopping over the weekend and saw the ribs in the meat department and craved them which is not usual for her. She knew she should have bought them but didn’t.

(Tracking) ” He is bigger and stronger and he likes the liver you have been feeding him. Stay with that. Also he is saying that you are not sleeping well and tossing and turning and there is one side that you sleep on which is really uncomfortable for him.” Cindy concurred that she hasn’t been sleeping lately and is indeed trying to find a comfortable position at night. “He has really grown and at this point, it is interesting that I feel he is breathing better and your breathing had gotten worse. He keeps telling me about a dumb movie you watched.. what did you watch recently because he didn’t like it?” She turned to me laughing saying she had been asking the lil’ guy what kinds of movies he likes to watch because all she likes to watch are dumb movies and she did watch one last night. I said I would ask him. “Wait a moment…..this is strange..I am asking if he likes fairy tales or things that I would think a little guy would like and I could see him dressed in a WWI or WWII uniform. He is letting me know he likes war movies. Not current ones if that makes sense but ones from way back.”

“You mean like historical ones?” she asked. “Yes,” I said.

Cindy laughed again. She said that her husband is such a history buff and was reading Kissinger the other night and watching a history documentary as well. Obviously on that note, he will be taking after his daddy. The lil’ guy was letting me clearly know that he really enjoyed history and because I also saw him in an old military uniform psychically, I have a strong feeling that a recent past life of his was in a major world war. I continued my tracking. The baby was tired as mommy and daddy have been doing a lot of thinking over a new home. I cautioned Cindy that any stress on the baby, especially mental, would dehydrate the both of them and they have come far in these 14 weeks. He is stronger, his organs are developing well. His personality is forming. I didn’t think it was a good idea for Cindy and her husband to add any undue stress at this time in any of their lives. I hope she thinks about what I shared.

I still am grateful about the timing of her mother coming to see me and how this will help the the baby coming into this world. This will also help to heal Cindy’s relationship with her mother.  I am hoping that these sessions will finally create a boundary against the continued interference of these spirits that come around every so often. I think it will.

Before Cindy left, I did some cranial work with her. I adjusted the baby so he would have more room. I also manipulated her spine and diaphragm so that she could breathe better. He really likes me..Can’t wait to meet him. And Cindy and I will laugh if he is really a she!!

Loneliness is a big misunderstanding. God and the spirit world seem to have it in proper perspective; but it is amazing what we human beings do with that emotion. Whether we project, internalize, create a whole experience out of that space, we might want to take a step back and breathe. I often wonder whether it is loneliness we are afraid of or the actual fear we have of owning it.

Our ancestors routinely used the healing power of nature. From plants, to animals, to rocks, to water; from the heavens to the earth, the way of living was in balance with the earth and her gifts to us. The way of honoring these gifts was to respect and call upon the spirits of nature, the elementals of the natural world that connected us to the Creator of all. It is through this sacred relationship that they were able to create harmony and reciprocity as interconnected beings of nature.

Evil and the Light of God
This was taken from an article I wrote back in 2004 after my book on Christian mysticism was published.

 

 

All darkness and all light is simply illusion. It presents itself in the way that it does to serve the greater purpose of coordinating universal and natural law. It serves an even greater purpose in helping human beings to identify their scope of consciousness and their responsibilities which lie there in. In the beginning, there was silence. And in that silence, the light and the darkness were borne. Within those polarities, many dimensions came into existence and experience. We, as human and spiritual beings, have been created to learn within these existences and experiences.
Without the understanding of the light of God that we hold and our own inner darkness, we cannot come to know God within ourselves, one another, or the world. When one asks the question as to why does evil exist, they will usually look towards the heavens for answers. It is far easier to look externally then to face the truth by looking deeply within ourselves. When we become aware of what evil truly is as the way God intended it, we will begin to face it with the courage and perspective that is needed for emotional and spiritual growth. It has been said in many a tradition that God will not give to you more evil than you can handle. So how in this statement can we affirm our belief in a loving Creator, especially during these challenging times?
We can begin to understand by grasping the concept of evil as relative to the light of God, as opposed to the structure of evil that is created by the will of man. When we separate ourselves from evil, then we are not embracing all aspects of our soul. Evil was meant to be placed in perspective and respect of the light of God; a necessary means for man’s understanding of truth. Evil can rest in stillness and fear of the spiritual process that surrounds Divine Providence. Whether it is the light or the darkness, good or evil, all energies need to be in stillness for the energy of God to come forth. If an energy is not in stillness, then it will leave itself open to the spiritual laws as set forth by the universe.
All souls have a learning continuum which reflects the accumulation of experiences collectively and universally. Light is borne from light and darkness is borne from darkness. The same holds truth for the antithesis. Darkness must also be borne from light as well as light must also be borne from darkness so that the spiral continues. The universal truths must come into balance within those polarities. Each polarity yields the grace, mercy, forgiveness, and appropriate boundaries to hold space for the other to come into balance. That is why one can and needs to be borne unto the other.
Each person on their path looks towards God for truth and understanding. The spiritual process that we each face encourages the formation of universal thoughts and attitudes which help to reflect the state of consciousness we are in universally. As we embrace the light, we reflect it. As we embrace the darkness, we reflect that as well. As we learn to balance the two, we assist in the universal balance that is in alignment with the will of God. Part of the natural evolution of our human psychology is and has always been to interpret the light and the darkness mentally, emotionally, and physically. We see and know these paradigms through the experiences of our emotional body and then tend to intellectualize our reactions to them instead of seeing and perceiving them in truth and reality. Where do we confuse truth and reality with our perceptions? Everywhere except within that space when we are in stillness with God. For each person, that space unfolds uniquely.
Truth and reality within any construct always faces an aspect of desire. If that truth is in the light, then the desire is there to know God more deeply. If that truth is within the darkness, then that desire is there to personalize and interpret those truths as they come to us in the way that we want to. The understanding and interpretation of human psychology leaves off where the essence of God begins, and where the separation of the light and the darkness ends.
The path of light and the path of evil, on all levels, be it the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual, needs to complete itself to come to understanding of the God within it. For remember that within the darkness, there will always be light. And within the light, you shall always find darkness. Only those truths will take on a different understanding as you grow spiritually and with a new conscious reality. By allowing for the light and the darkness to come to stillness, we can allow for God’s will to take place within everything created.
There are many teachings out there that show us how to embrace the light of God. So how do we face our darkness? We do so with compassion and love. It is easy for us to say love and far greater a challenge to know how to love like God does. We cannot hide from our truths within, nor should we be afraid to show ourselves in the face of God. We can offer our spirits and souls a gentle reminder of the gratitude of the spirit within, and the compassion and mercy that God has for each one of us. We are loved in our entirety. We cannot come to true love unless we embrace that entirety of who we are. We cannot come to true compassion until we balance the desire to attach, identify, or personalize our interpretations of how we define the light and the darkness.
When we are faced with the unknowing, in whichever ‘duality’ it is representative of, it is suggested to be mindful of the desire to identify or personalize that experience with our relationship to God. If you think you do not participate in this, take a closer look. Light and evil are not only part of the nature of man, but of the universal construct as well. The interpretation of the construct can lead us to the gates of heaven or the dark night of the soul.
During those times that light comes your way, rejoice. And in those times that evil comes your way, remember to hold it in a space of detachment and stillness. What remains still in truth cannot harm you and will only return to its source. Evil cannot engage you unless you allow it. It will be present as will the light. As with both, you have the free will to create relationship. If we look at the resurrection of the Christ Jesus, or the
life of the Lord Buddha, their faith in God allowed for a far greater resurrection of the darkness and understanding of the light than one could imagine. Their love in Him and their faith in His love for them helped to bring into perspective the light of God; which indeed, encompasses all of creation.

Cindy has given us a quick update until our next session. The prenatal specialist she went to see was happy with the ultrasound. The lil guy is growing and is much stronger! Keep those prayers coming!