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As we come closer to year’s end, these holidays become significant aspects of closure for many of us.
Nostalgia of what was emboldens our cellular memories to bring forth memories that have given us hope as well as memories that have wounded us.
I find that some are ashamed to admit their loneliness of being or feeling of disconnect with themselves and the world around them.
Something is missing, something is lost within the meaning of these year end celebrations. As people gather in joyful glee and before the new year begins, apprehension is also present as people wonder how they will define their lives in this new year to come. How will they relate to the world around them differently than they have in the past? How will others see them and more importantly, how will they see themselves? The internal pressure we sometimes place upon ourselves to find closure with our life perceptions can be intense and self deprecating.
Closure is symbolic of an ending or letting go of an integral piece of one’s life story in order to begin another. Sometimes the process can be easier than other times. The thought of letting go ignites raw emotion and questioning surrounding the authenticity of our lives. It requires surrender on our part and an acceptance of a pattern that brought us joy or broke our hearts. Closure requires us to take responsibility for our relationship to that which we are letting go of. It compels us not only to forge a new relationship with the object of our loss, but asks us to create a new relationship with how we let go of things and move forward in our lives. One of the conversations clients tend to have with me during these last few weeks of the year is what they will do with their lives as they enter into this next phase in time. Constant questioning can lead some into the darkness of their emotions. I don’t think closure has to be an all or nothing situation. Actually from my perspective, cellular memory holds memories of our lineages and those memories are still being healed generations later. So I wonder if we can come up with a new way of defining closure that will engender healthier relationships with ourselves and those around us? What if we allowed the process to be more gentler?

The ‘shift’ happens when your awakening reaches into the substance of your bones; when your flesh realizes with great authenticity that your humanity is as much about the change as your divine self. Our earth element belongs as much to the gods as it does to the lower worlds, those worlds beneath your feet that feed our bodies as much as they feed our minds and spirits. Those worlds beneath our feet that root us into a depth of self that is unspoken.

Anger is not usually defined by spiritual paradigms as being a constructive emotion. Yet over this past week and toward the end of this year, it has surfaced individually among many and collectively as a whole. I don’t recall spiritual traditions defining it as a negative emotion, rather the action that stems forth can have its consequences. Anger is an energy first and foremost. It is a fire energy that can either rise up from the earth element and evolve as it reaches the crown chakra or descend from the mind and distort itself as it reaches manifestation. It can also descend from the lower realms of the spirit world for those souls who are still working on their ancestral issues. It can attach to individuals and collectively to peoples as we all struggle to understand an emotion that has been a defining force for centuries when it comes to understanding one’s own power. That same fire energy which yields anger also births forgiveness, creativity, boundaries, purpose. Many on a spiritual path are uncomfortable with this energy and try to work through it faster than appropriate for their higher good. There is a time and place for every emotion both in human and spiritual realms. Working through an emotion faster does not give rise to the healing relationship with it that most people desire. Actually, some would rather not have any relationship with anger at all. The idea of it can be overwhelming, confusing, debilitating. For others, it can be empowering even uplifting. It all depends on one’s relationship to it in alignment with the appropriate response which fulfills that soul’s purpose. An appropriate response? Purpose? Yes, even in the higher realms anger serves a purpose but the intent is not the same. It is simply an energy which serves to direct reasoning, Providence and forgiveness. In human realms, in order for us to learn that it is an energy to work with and respect, we have to work through the living experiences that our anger takes us to in order to rise above. We are all given a choice as to how to carry the anger, relate to it, manifest it and direct it. This fire energy is incredibly strong right now and I believe Divine Providence is providing us with the awareness to carry it with a new understanding, which is why I am noticing people are being so easily triggered these days. Avoiding the fire will only make the flames more powerful. Standing at its threshold, honoring its power and purpose, deciding in stillness what course of action to take; that will transmute this emotion into the energy it was meant to be.

God met me in the wild of the spirit world where I was born.
She tamed me in the womb of my mother.
She birthed me into a world where the wild of the spirit world now seemed so sacred and silent.
If only I knew then what I know now.
Back to the silent wilderness one day I will go.
Where spirits are tamed by a love so magnificent they spend their entire earthly existence searching for it.
Back to the sacred silence. Where all things wild are free.

There are those who surrender to gratitude.
Who understand truths within humanity which breathe life into their souls.
Who speak softly of the Divine, upon which many blessings stream forth into this wayward world.
There are those who surrender to gratitude.
Who understand the effortless of the Divine to give life with all its challenges, heartache, grief, wickedness, raw with emotion which overwhelms humanity.
Life can be taken as easily as it is given. Joy and happiness seem fleeting but lie abundantly within the silence, within the grace, within the effortlessness.
Blessings may not be easily seen or heard, felt or experienced, but imbued powerfully by the Holy Spirit.
And for those whose faith is embodied, that surrender is steadfast.
There are those who surrender to gratitude.
Bitterness does not take hold of their spirits.
Their gratitude flows freely between the heavens and the earth, between all kingdoms under Creation, abiding by those spiritual laws at work.
Appreciating the task at hand to love thy brethren with their whole heart and soul, to love thy earth as much as the womb which carried them between worlds.

Keep defining us by your projections and we will only become more radiant. The healers, the artists, the witches, the soothsayers; the earthkeepers, the creators of imaginary worlds;
who for centuries were held accountable for mankind’s darkness. Our souls bound by light to discern the realms of existence and experience through visionary works, those seen and unseen. We are not here to harm but to share in the magic of the Divine and weave into this laden world stories of hope. Stories that will comfort the wounded, carry the oppressed, honor the wronged, praise the good, forgive the broken. We will never disappear. Our acts of kindness will echo through the hearts of many and engage distant lands, both above and below the heavens, until the day comes when you finally accept your place. You are also a creator of an imaginary world. We bask in the same realms. You are the healer, the artist, the witch, the soothsayer and the earthkeeper. You cannot define your human or spiritual experience without acknowledging that we have weaved our experiences to mirror each other. I am in you and you are in me. Our stories dwell in the house of the gods as equals.

Frustrations, irritability and impatience seem to be prevalent these days within relationship. It feels like we are being emotionally tested by those closest to us or for the most part, doing the testing ourselves. I am noticing so much internal power struggle as many are searching for a new purpose to redefine their lives.My sense is people are feeling ‘bored’ with the way they presently envision themselves in this world, in relationship to one another, This boredom walks hand in hand with emptiness of self, and these internal power struggles are seeking pathways to express themselves externally, usually being projected onto the relationships we engage in. Disagreements, arguments, people have mentioned a ‘not quite right’ feeling about themselves or those relationships they are in. Impatience is rising and some are feeling the need to make drastic changes in friendships, in partnerships of various kinds. Some are feeling the need to make drastic changes within themselves. Addictions and compulsive behaviors might be at their peak these next few weeks.

Follow me amidst the graves of your ancestors, whose footprints you walk upon against the fertile earth beneath you with each passing day. Follow me as my voice beckons, calling out to your mother, your father, your grandmothers and grandfathers, their relations and their relations before them. The earth may carry their bones but their spirits are ever present in every facet of your being. Your anger, your sorrow, your joy, your peace, each emotion permeating every cellular thread from the heavens to the earth. It is between and within those spaces where we have the power to change the past, the present and the future. When you follow me, you follow every footprint. Your first step, your baby step, your seminal imprint in this world is ensconced within a million footprints. If you want to change the world, honor the footprint. Honor the thread that connects you with a million souls before you and a million souls still awaiting their powerful births into this world. Their stories of creation, their stories of survival, their stories of hope, their stories of love…those stories will not change, nor necessarily those that are predestined. What will shift as we honor these footprints is the way in which we perceive the stories, the ways in which we carry them in our bodies, the ways in which our cellular threads communicate these stories through ancestral genetics. Your ancestors will hear you. Your ancestors will know you differently than they do now. You will come to know yourself differently. Follow me, amidst the graves of your ancestors. Learn their footprints by name so your own name might be revealed to them by the gods.

Across generations, you will come to know me. I am your past, your present, your future. I belong to those who were left behind by the constructs of linear time, yet exist in parallel realities where I can touch upon you the imprint of my soul. You think you exist in your world without me. You think I can exist without you. You think we can exist without each other. You look in the mirror and define yourself by the present awareness of your human condition yet fail to realize you are merely a thread weaving through the conscience of immortality. Today you might experience yourself as man or woman. Yesterday you were in my womb, in utero, waiting to be born. Nourished by the same placenta that fed you for generations before. Who will you be in this lifetime? Do you remember who we were in other lifetimes? Were you the slave, shackled and haunted by his owner until you were weary to the bone from working his plantations? Or were you the plantation owner, filled with the undeniable assurance that I was merely property for you to own? Were you Cherokee(among others) leaving your lands, malnourished and broken from walking the Trail of Tears? Or were you the militia pointing the gun in my back as I took my last steps, not able to feel the ground underneath my feet anymore. Were you a woman desperate to end an unwanted pregnancy with a back alley abortion or the person that fought against equal rights for women? Or were you perhaps the child that never came to term? Or maybe the child working twelve hour shifts in a city factory before child labor laws were enacted to protect you. Or maybe you were the factory boss, walking around intimidating me, knowing what little monies I received for my intense labor would not be sufficient to help my family. Perhaps you were a physician in the early part of the century. Or perhaps you were one of the patients turned away because of the color of your skin when hospitals were segregated. Perhaps across generations you will come to understand that my wound is your wound, and your wound is mine. Perhaps you will come to understand that how you live your life will impact mine, and all of us you are connected with beyond the veil. Perhaps you will come to understand that the choices you make will impact generations to come and you, like me, will be watching from a distance. Perhaps.

I sometimes wonder if primordial communication between human beings was more telepathic than verbal. I also wonder if our emotional bodies were more resonant through energetic experiences than verbal exchanges. From the moment we began to use language, emotions took on a whole different meaning and sensation. One of those emotions that has withstood the test of time is shame. Individual, societal, cultural and collective, shame is both an inner and outer experience which lessens us in both our human and spiritual selves. It is a culmination of unworthiness, rejection, dehumanization, abandonment of one’s true nature…the list can go on. It has been used since the dawn of time to manipulate human consciousness so that individuals and societies can continue to separate themselves from each other. It has been used to desensitize and devalue our Divinity as children of God. Shame fosters an unhealthy ego and compels human beings to seek a power outside of themselves, one that provides a false sense of empowerment and entitlement. This cycle of illusion continues throughout families and cultures, yet people flock to this emotion as though it were a shield of protection. These same shame embodied souls also feel ashamed in engaging with this very emotion that is somehow so familiar and comforting when they are lost. It is such a wound in our world and yet the power it wields is enough to destroy the very foundations we have created as human beings to exist. Emotions will continue to exist long after we are gone, and shame will take on a life of its own in every family. I don’t ask that we destroy this emotion. I don’t ask that we negate its power. I simply ask that we stop utilizing it as a source of empowerment as there are other, more constructive ways to exist. I ask that we seek to understand shame for the medicine it can offer us, without engaging in an internal power struggle where many times we allow shame to win simply because we think it can. I ask that we not allow ourselves to be identified by others’ projections. I ask that we not allow shame to navigate our thoughts, our authenticity, the ways we love and live our lives. I ask that we find the courage to allow our shame to be still in nature, not bound to unworthiness, rejection, or any other feelings it triggers within us. I ask us as a world to think our existence beyond the concept of entitlement which only perpetuates a shame based life when ‘entitlement’ is out of balance emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. There are other ways to feel empowered, achieve empowerment and empower others. There are other ways to feel love and give love. Shame doesn’t have to be a part of the matrix. It can live in the silence of humanity, a healing medicine when appropriate and not a code of honor we live by each day. Freedom awaits each one of us.