As we come closer to year’s end, these holidays become significant aspects of closure for many of us.
Nostalgia of what was emboldens our cellular memories to bring forth memories that have given us hope as well as memories that have wounded us.
I find that some are ashamed to admit their loneliness of being or feeling of disconnect with themselves and the world around them.
Something is missing, something is lost within the meaning of these year end celebrations. As people gather in joyful glee and before the new year begins, apprehension is also present as people wonder how they will define their lives in this new year to come. How will they relate to the world around them differently than they have in the past? How will others see them and more importantly, how will they see themselves? The internal pressure we sometimes place upon ourselves to find closure with our life perceptions can be intense and self deprecating.
Closure is symbolic of an ending or letting go of an integral piece of one’s life story in order to begin another. Sometimes the process can be easier than other times. The thought of letting go ignites raw emotion and questioning surrounding the authenticity of our lives. It requires surrender on our part and an acceptance of a pattern that brought us joy or broke our hearts. Closure requires us to take responsibility for our relationship to that which we are letting go of. It compels us not only to forge a new relationship with the object of our loss, but asks us to create a new relationship with how we let go of things and move forward in our lives. One of the conversations clients tend to have with me during these last few weeks of the year is what they will do with their lives as they enter into this next phase in time. Constant questioning can lead some into the darkness of their emotions. I don’t think closure has to be an all or nothing situation. Actually from my perspective, cellular memory holds memories of our lineages and those memories are still being healed generations later. So I wonder if we can come up with a new way of defining closure that will engender healthier relationships with ourselves and those around us? What if we allowed the process to be more gentler?
We can find or create great symbolism during our process. The raw emotion provides us with the framework to CHOOSE how we grieve and how we move forward. I don’t know if people realize they do have a choice in the grieving process. They also have many choices as they are letting go. When one feels empowered as opposed to powerless when it comes to creating closure, letting go takes on a whole new life. The process itself has a purpose. Our emotions have a purpose. Closure, at that point, doesn’t seem as overwhelming as it did before.
End this year on a kinder note to yourself. Choose to define closure as life affirming so that you enter into the new year with a renewed sense of being.
Happy New Year.