Love is a word that can often be misused and misinterpreted when it comes to being in relationship. We enter into relationship to help us understand the duality of our natures, and effectually, to understand more about the human and spiritual condition. We are drawn to various people because of energetic conditioning; and how one’s psyche interprets that conditioning depends upon the human and spiritual needs and lessons at that moment in time. Love seems like a simplistic notion, yet most of us find it challenging to rise about our psychological constraints to love well. After all, loving well is one of the most challenging tasks at hand for many of us. Our interpretations have to work through years of psychological patterning, ancestral miasms, societal, cultural and world paradigms. In loving well, we are faced with a surrender of self to such a degree which triggers our deepest fears around self sacrifice and abandonment. Some of us might equate that with suffering. Establishing safe zones for us to explore in relationship further enhances the notion that in order to love well, we need to relinquish our attachment to ego in order to fulfill an inconceivable destiny. Why inconceivable? The losses incurred as a part of emotional evolution during the process of loving well can seem overpowering and overwhelming, enabling us to place conditions on our partners and ourselves in this dance of relationship. How many of us are afraid to approach the inner work encouraged to explore a love like this? Many of us.
When we define or attach our suffering to love, we have already identified our self worth and the love our partner may have for us within the same paradigm. In this manner, love becomes an internal power struggle between the ego and the higher self, between the heart and the mind, between one’s sense of powerlessness and one’s authentic nature. Our fear will continue to draw in more experiences to help further this notion.
Many of us who do ‘ the work’ also use the work as an escape mechanism. We bargain to keep some sort of control over those parts of us which are yearning to be let go of. We become trapped in our internal chaos trying to find the stillness without the suffering one will go through to love well. Nobody wants to struggle, yet it seems to be an integral part of life. We can learn to allow for the struggle to humble us in such a way that also empowers us with the wisdom and graces of the Divine. If we do, we no longer feel trapped inside of ourselves as the fear of loving is lessened. This is the struggle we go through to receive such a powerful blessing and experience. If only our interpretations and attachments would not render us helpless. That’s not love’s intentions. That is fear.
In loving well, we engage in the present. Many times we circle back to various realities to fulfill an undefined version which only continues to fuel the fear. We will seek to not suffer and spend a great part of our lives working effortlessly to achieve that space. The energy expended only causes us more, and sometimes will involve us further into those dark places where we don’t need to go. All the while, both you and your partner are waiting to give and receive a love that you are both destined for.
Relationships were not meant to be easy. They were meant to challenge our inner realities and paradigms we have created to keep us safe emotionally. In loving well, we most certainly will be stepping out of our comfort zone. But that’s a chance I’m willing to take if it means a life of living and loving well.