Decisions…

Between the challenges many of us faced last year and with what’s unfolding this year, we have all had to make some heavy decisions that impact and influence our lives and the lives of others.

The toll these decisions are taking on us have altered the ways in which we live, function and identify our roles in society and within our familial dynamic.

Relationships have taken the brunt of these decisions and created rifts leaving many of us to question our identities.

We’ve had to set boundaries like we never have before.

So when did our boundaries change the person we are?

Why are we seeing ourselves so differently?

Why are others?

We’ve been encapsulated in a miasm of survival and trauma since the onset of this pandemic.

Most of us have had to renegotiate our internal survival and communication skills to function on a daily basis.

Some of us have had to actually create those survival skills.

We are still operating from a self and collective induced stress response to current world events.

Boundaries are being created both out of necessity and fear in response to our environment.

Confusion permeates our identities and anxiety collectively is at its peak as many of us scramble to figure out who we are in the midst of this trauma.

The answers you are seeking in terms of your identity are coming out of desperation.

Your decisions only reflect a part of you in the current environment, How you are setting boundaries and surviving now does not necessarily mean this is how you will handle your life in the future.

I am witnessing so much anticipatory anxiety surrounding losing one’s sense of self and identity in the face of these intense challenges.

We can’t help how others will see us as we relearn how to feel safe in an unsafe world as of late.

Others are doing the same for themselves.

And the truth is, in the midst of a crisis, figuring out who you are may not be the most opportune time to do so.

Just getting by and facing everyday challenges is enough.

The person you thought you lost is still inside of you.

Those parts that have shaped your life.

Your decisions, whether positive or not, will give you that opportunity to continue to learn how to live safely inside of yourself.

Your decisions may be well thought out or a knee-jerk reaction.

Judging yourself is hard enough when you might have others around you doing the same.

You are not losing yourself to trauma or the decisions you are making in response to it.

You are maturing. Your toolbox of survival skills and coping mechanisms is growing. Your chance to see how you live in this storied world is expanding.

You are experiencing the many different identities that are ignited within you as a result of cumulative experiences.

You are greater than the decisions you make.